German Husband let Young Boy Fuck his Wife in Threesome 14:30. She should have known to do that herself beforehand. How much more reassurance do you need? Well 1. It sounds like her friends are shit. Let's give your wife the benefit of the doubt for a moment. It's going to suck, but it's always worth it to try and move on. This opens up two main issues, and a third tangential one, as follows: In the first scenario: She crossed a boundary and (un)consiously violated your trust. I would DIE if my husband mocked me being bi like your wife did. Your sexual relationship is basically the basis of trust in your relationship as a whole. She violated your trust in one of the worst possible ways and there really isn't any way to walk it back, The thing that sucks the most is that now that there was a blowupthose judgmental friends who she told about your sexualitywill be running their mouths to all their other friends and coworkers and more and more people will be told something you never wanted shared. He said if i wanna get together for a drink or whatever to let him know. I mean, what you probably should have done was just walk quietly back to the garage and talk about it in private with your wife later- like an adult. They seem like they knew exactly what she was talking about, like it was a familiar topic. Take the space you need & honor your feelings. It's the typical "I'm in a perfect relationship but I overheard something that nobody would ever say out loud knowing I'm in the other room" scenario that gets done all of the time on here. Acknowledge what you are going through sucks, don't judge it, & tell yourself the following: this is temporary. I'm sorry. That sucks that your wife has such closed minded friends. Her exact words "I feel like i settled for him. Slipping up and sharing something very private about your husband is betrayal enough. I'm not sure what her motivation was with not being up front with you about all of this, especially the telling her friends of your sexuality. This crap has been swimming around for TWO FUCKING YEARS. Wife: " (my name) I dunno what your heard but it's not what" Me: " (wifes name) I know exactly what I heard." I turned around and stormed off to our room. To her, you're the butt of the joke. She feels bad for being caught. Including mutual friends that were homophobic and a girl who hated my guts (and my ex totally knew about those things). They honestly seem jealous if they care that much about what you enjoy sexually. Definitely think about whether or not this is a dealbreaker. I understand you were angry and not thinking straight, but that is besides the point. And as a low blow it is, it's an easy way out for a quick laugh among her judgemental friends. Your lifestyle is yours and no one has the right to question it, not even your family nor your friends for as long as nobody's put in harms way! How many people knew about it since she let it slip, considering she's telling the truth and it was only two years ago that she told somebody. MILF Teacher seduce to Fuck Anal by Young Boy 12:11. But it does happen and people can surprise you. She put you down at your own house. Oh My God, seriously? Ask her about it, give her the space to openly address it and dually try and understand why she feels that way as well as highlighting why you two are together. If you love her and things work, then your answer is clear. Based on the way she acts in private i would think you are right in your opinion. I'm just saying people can be stupid. And her dissing your sexual needs to her friends and I truly understand that it was very hurtful and disrespectful to you and your marriage. Divorce her. She is trying to write this shit off as a mistake. Not the act itself. I've been married for 21+ years. If they outed me and mocked our sex life with their friends, I would never be able to be intimate with them again. But, she finally conceded maybe he was genuine. I told her if she kept talking shit about him, I'd stop talking to her. Personally, I would consider this along the same lines of cheating in my relationship, because it's a complete breach of trust and security you're supposed to have with your partner. I used to drink to black out, and not one time did I let slip the secrets I held for my friends and family. Are there no angry bi men who look like grocery store managers? There are good comments here, so Im not going to get into that. She probably just wants to belong and is afraid to stand up to, i am guessing here, to friends with stronger personalities. She continued to ignore my boundary. How you deal with this will depend on how you two communicate about it. Created by your wife. I (45M) have been married to my wife (45F) for 20 years. The best part was, after a couple of months, everything was solved, tadalafile was no longer necessary, I find out she had a hookup during that period. personally id be filing for divorce right away, being outed alone can be dangerous let alone your own partner then further breaking your trust by cracking jokes about your sexuality. My take: there may be some truth in her fabrications to her friends, which makes her even worse. Sorry bro, no words. Not to mention she outed him and didn't even come clean and let him know, instead allowed the jokes to flow for a couple years - that's pretty unforgivable. We say things to fit in, to belong, to make people laugh, to shock people and to make ourselves seem more impressive or likeable and so on - we dont always say things just because we mean the words that come out of our mouths. So does she. My only advice is to give it time. Can you explain this because its giving homophobia, It could damage his reputation. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. But then she says.the only hurdle I had to get past with (me) was.well, you guys know.they all were kinda like mhmm as if to affirm they knew what she was talking about. But Im not sure I know anyone who hasnt. It's not cool she didn't. Me: girls, get your better halves and get the fuck out of my house They all pop right up and walk past me. This is not helpful but wow. When we had problems of a sexual nature it made me feel worse that her friends who would constantly gossip amongst each other knew. Thats her game, and I suggest therapy and also congratulate you, my dude, on taking it so calmly. Your wife is a cowered. A marriage counselor should probably be your first step. You can't act if you don't know how you feel. How I interpret you feel: she betrayed your trust, she shared your private life, and then made fun of it. Seems like part of the issue here is how ashamed you are of your own sexuality. She more than likely enjoys your sex life and marriage, but is ashamed at how her friends make her feel, and used you as an outlet. You both need to get in front of a good counselors and dig in. I would be trembling with furious anger and wouldn't be able to face her with the same amount of trust for a long, long while after this incident. If that partner had outed me to anyone, I would have never been able to trust them again. Your story is isn't as violent, but its just as embarrassing and horrifying to hear. Don't ruin your relationship because of this. Honestly the only advice I have is to don't give an inch on the fact that you were the one outted and ridiculed, not her. I am a closeted bi woman. Sounds like shes really sorry. People are too quick to run away from a marriage and give up when issues come up. Perhaps individual first because youll have to process your own feelings before trying to work through things together. When she closes her eyes shes thinking of other men, one of those other men is probably Tom. Now this doesnt mean shes a 100% shit person. Go out and do things during those days, don't wallow. I am pretty much an open book with my partners. Maybe. Ive been with my partner for 5 years. Remember also that it is okay to feel uncomfortable - instead of fighting these feelings, allow them to just pass through you. You can be understanding of her error, but she has to build up trust back with you. I'm not saying she will, I don't know her and can't make that call. The slider to the patio from the kitchen is open. The fact that her mindset even thinks doing things like anal play are bi tells me she probably has some internalized homophobia she needs to deal with. Those so called friends are not real friends. And can think clearly. You need to learn how to deal with being outed and your stupid wife needs to understand the true ramifications for you. I'm sorry you went through this. Outing you accidentally is one thing, but there are a load of major no-nos here. Your wife said that she accidently let slip two years ago you were bi. What girl no own ya sh*t. I would be scared to death to share those acts with her again. She sounds sorry and your marriage is great, so maybe dont listen too carefully to all the people telling you to get a divorce. I would be so freaking upset & sad. Also, if shes lying to you about this, I feel absolutely certain that are other things you dont know. Kids do the joking crap and make fun of boyfriends, not decent women. Hold on tight and never give up! It actually did make me feel a little better. It sounds more like it's a matter of comfort and trust. You were a running joke in your wife's friend group for two years. Second, your wife may have been shitface drunk when she blabbed your secret, but she should have refused to talk about it thereafter. I dont get real emotional or worked up over things.but I felt rage for the first time in a long time. When the bi thing slipped, she should have told you. Good move tossing them out and then leaving as well. Been with each other for roughly 4 years. I'd be crushed if I heard my wife's friend's say something like that, and then she just hangs me out to dry instead of standing up for me. We have 2 amazing kids. And if they give you a hard time, then fuck em! But please know this, todays generation can say theyre in the exact same boat as you and face no issues from same aged folks. Ngl bro the first halve is disrespect enough, you now know she keeps important shit to herself like Tom tryna derail your marriage and is at the same time comfortable sharing your personal life with her friends and entertaining her friends disrespecting you in your own home. Who actually believes these? I would just ask why her friends opinions matter more than yous twos intimacy. Then one friend says I could never be with a man who like men. If my friends talked about my SO like that I would be livid and we wouldnt be friends anymore. Anything she says in the moment right now can't be trusted because she'll do or say whatever it takes to keep you. This was betrayal. Let that sink in. Especially the part where she acts like its a close call between you and Tom to her girlfriends. I had no privacy. Mahatma Gandhi Before my wife was with me she dated a man named Tom. Im bi and from a close knit, homophobic religious family. I could give the benefit of the double and believe she fakes the homophobic/biphobic stuff for her friends. You are NOT overreacting. Im so sorry, my jaw hit the floor reading this. The only talking I'd be doing at that point would be discussing how she wants to split custody. There is nothing wrong with you. I don't know what you should do but I know you shouldn't just roll over and say it's okay. Best of luck man. However you don't have to forgive and forget either; life isn't black and white. I got in my car and drove to my moms house. Youre not overreacting at ALL. The guys and I were in the garage smoking and throwing back some beers just bullshitting about this and that. Ugh I'm angry for you OP, but I agree with the other posters. Make sure she knows how traumatic that was for you. Also? Implying that OP's "flaw" as husband material is because he not 100% straight and slept with men is homophobic. Then one girl left and all of a sudden the other girl is giving pointers! I keep my composure as best I can and open the slider to the patio and poke my head out. Come on, you're not 19 anymore. She immediately started apologizing and saying she loves me and it was drunk girl talk and she didnt mean anything. If she can apologize for those things and really work on not doing them in the future, I think I'd forgive her. This is now twice that she has blabbed something intensely personal while intoxicatedthat you know about. If it were me, I would let her know that she needs to consider how this would be handled if the roles were reversed. Once your sexual history was out in the open and left you vulnerable to her girlfriends judgements, she decided to join in and talk shit about it and mention that she thinks of other men while pleasuring you since it turns her off. I could not imagine this type of betrayal and I hope you can find peace. When my husband and I had been together for maybe a year, I went to my mom exactly once for advice. If you think you can continue in a relationship with someone who is so nonchalantly willing to throw you, your feelings, and your whole person under the bus so easily, for what? It may actually be useful separating your real friends from the judgemental ones. That is why we married each other. Your actions are your actions and the consequences are the consequences. Right I mean she volunteered stuff when she could have kept her mouth shut. Good luck and I do feel for you. She outed you. I totally dont get why she would lie and say he begged for the gay stuff if she was wanting it. It's not a secret, kept in a fault. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. She sounds like she cares way too much about what these women think. All the sudden I didnt know my wife. If, she cannot part with them, I would part with her. Will you ever be able to "do the bi stuff" in bed with her again? Also sound out the wives who weren't judgemental and ask their opinions. But I bet, she has told other people many years ago about it. This makes me so angry I'm having a hard time putting it into words. Your wife probably didn't want to admit in front of her friends that she likes that you're into butt stuff and initiates most of the time. I think that you need a good week to try and think about how you feel, how you're going to be able to contain the gossip and how you move forward with the wife . My ex used to talk about our sex life to her friends all the time and though I thought things were good - I never felt comfortable with this arrangement. Who cares if she feels pressured by her friends to make fun of your sexuality or thinking about Tom, she either has shitty friends or she needs to take accountability for her actions and learn to grow up. How this going to help him after he become joke to everyone he know !!!! you'd be shocked but how many wives/girlfriends go into detail about their sex lives with their friends. It won't repair the damage that's been done. Neither is divorce. I turned to my wife with a raised eyebrow and announced I guess you didnt have me pegged to be a man that would stand up for himself! And I majestically brushed my cape back and walked right out of the house. Now's not the time to make decisions. Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111 Your anger is justified, but breaking up your wonderful family over this is too much and a shame? I think the problem here is not your wife not loving you or your sex life -- it sounds like she loves you very much and enjoys y'all's sex life. Of course she's only sorry she got caught but think about it, how many times they've been making fun of you from their girls night outs? The only thing I can think is that she didnt want you to worry or feel badly about itbut its an important thing I would want mentioned to me (an ex sniffing around and trying to get back together with my boyfriend). It doesn't matter how private it is, or if they say they don't, they talk. Yeah Id be pissed about the betrayal of trust. That's so fucked man. 2.) We never fight. She basically said, well if you werent listening at the door you wouldnt be upset right now. If this is a hurdle you feel like you cant get past, then work on it. If my wife did this, I doubt I'd ever care to be into intimate with her again. Hes outed now. also drunk talk often means honest thoughts of a person. Especially the part where she acts like its a close call between you and Tom to her girlfriends. She outed you to your group of friends without asking you about it. Don't be embarrassed about any of that stuff, everyone knows now so just own it. The Geni has escaped from the bottle, as there's no chance of putting it back in, you need to deal with the humiliation that you feel in how it was told. Its one thing for the wife and her friends to be talking about you, but they were talking about you and laughing. When people start talking about things that are intimate, sometimes they succumb to the pressure (not necessarily peer pressure in the "tell us, tell us sense, but more the pressure to feel bonded, to feel close to friends) to share things they shouldn't. I wouldnt let her off the hook easily, but we all say and do some dumb stuff and I think she deserves a chance make it up to you and resolve the situation. She and her group of mean girls clearly cant accept that. I'm sorry you're going through this but your wife is such a shit person man. About everything. They give up so quickly when there's a whole lifetime ahead of joy, wonder and happiness. Youre delusional. I'm not sure how to help you, but your wife needs better friends. Women get cold feet around marriage, but she decided to be with you. I'm getting angry just sitting here cause I've personally witnessed this so many times. The world is bad enough with mean enough people, you dont need your team mate trash talking you too. All of us are who we are meant to be, at this particular time in our life. The bigger problem seems to be that she's embarrassed of it, not willing to stick up for it/you, and is willing to lie to her friends to fit into what they want her to be. Personally I think you handled as well as could be expected - what with confronting the issue right away and pulling consequences for her violating your very personal boundary/secret. Get used to me being stupid". That would be the end for me. I hope you are able to get marriage counseling and find a way through this wether it ends with you together or not. Gaslight, blameshifting, shamming, begging by the end and finally divorce. You will never have that trust again. Next time she will really consider how the way she's talking to her friends could make you feel. I mean, youre not wrong petty king/queen. Your wife shouldnt have outed you to her friends. But she enjoys to embarrass you to her friends behind your back about it. Beer runs out so I head inside to grab more. Be honest anyway. If Tom popped back into the picture at any point, Id have told my partner what happened. Your wife have no sense of conjugality. Accept yourself, just try to improve. ( like nothing wrong with it but the fact ur so scretive about it speaks volumes, SHAME is an individual thing. That's what's really completely messed up - she's been joking with pals behind his back for a couple years and never told him she had slipped up. I would take a long look to see if this is reconcilable. Just want to say the other husband is a stand up guy. Maybe things that we say passively just to get our friends to laugh and joke, but arent meant to be taken seriously. Also, the fact that she let her friends talk shit about him while she and OP are supposed to be in a happy marriage Damn, that says a lot. Thirdly, those friends have got to GO. Any other friends you have in common likely know. Get your better halves and get the fuck out of my house as I tipped my fedora and winked at my wifes hottest friend who was clearly impressed by my rage erection that had partially split the seam in my relaxed fit Levi 501s. Fuck her if she cannot be your confidant she's worthless, tell her to get rid of her hateful friends. I'm glad she apologized. My step-dad said, "I feel like I always have to watch what I have to say, and I shouldn't have to worry about . First let me say your SO is the fucking worst in my humble opinion. I got halfway through before searching "fake" in the comments. There were many times where we wanted to throw in the towel. Saying stupid stuff about your sex life aside, why are you talking about your sex life with your friends at all? Im so lost. This doesnt excuse anything. Part of thinks I should be able to accept her apology and shrug this off.maybe I overacting.but its all I can think about. I have one person I talk to sometimes about my gf. That's where your power is. I agree, marriage counseling ASAP. From one bi to another, I'm sorry you had to go through this, it's a bisexual's nightmare scenario to hear your long-term partner say this kind of shit. They were together for 3 years. We were having drinks and girl talk, about sex, etc.. well he didnt like a few things he heard and got upset. People can be so two-faced with that kind of thing. I told this to my then partner with all the trust in the world. Especially when it all seems to have been going well. He claims it was just he was not mature and never meant any of the terrible things he did. Don't make any decisions until you have calmed down. I think that you need a good week to try and think about how you feel, how you're going to be able to contain the gossip and how you move forward with the wife . She destroyed your trust, and trust takes a long time to repair. Take a few more days. Give your best anyway. First off, sorry, if a man and woman are doing sexual things together, it isn't gay. OP, Ive never been in your shoes but I can empathize with flat out betrayal. Then lots of hard conversations and a come to Jesus with your wife. My suggestion? ", I doubt he cares about that, its mostly that his wife was saying all of those things behind his back but she acts like she likes it to him. Grab more say he begged for the gay stuff if she can not part with,! To trust them again accidently let slip two years ago you were angry not! 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